Games Couples Play - It's a Good Thing, Says Shrink

January 14, 2007

World Of Warcraft widows might disagree, but some relationshiop professionals are beginning to view gaming as a way to bring couples closer together.

Susan Perry, a Los Angeles-based social psychologist, spoke to Women's Health recently about men, women and games, saying:

Playing video games allows you to bond and learn how to problem-solve as a team.

Taking Perry's advice, the magazine suggested some titles that might work wonders for romance. Guitar Hero II, for instance, lets couples "rock out together using a second controller — you on lead guitar, him on bass", and they describe Midnight Club 3 as "simple and sexy, this game is foreplay on wheels".

Although, you do have to wonder what kind of relationship they're trying to promote when they open their description of Lego Star Wars II with "You're Leia, he's Luke."

For a counterpoint, though, I point you towards Faith Naked's RedAssedBaboon piece on why you might not want your girlfriend playing games...

- Reporting from the U.K., GamePolitics Correspondent Mark Kelly

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Comments

Submitted by aniki21 - January 15, 2007 at 6:36 am -0500

My girlfriend is kind of a gamer, but she's not much one for home consoles. She is a DS fiend, though - she'll sink hours into just about anything on Nintendo's handheld.

I totally disagree with Faith Naked's article, too - especially this bit:

instead you will have a pony tailed, no makeup wearing girlfriend, walking around the house in your old band shirt and sweatpants.

I have always had that girlfriend, and I'd not want her to change for the world. Loving somebody isn't worrying about how they look; personally, I prefer her without makeup, and she looks freaking hot slobbing around in sweatpants and an old tshirt.

Submitted by Wa_Hi - January 15, 2007 at 4:03 am -0500

the love of my life does not play video games and i dont mind sure id love it even more if she played WoW with me but that the way things go. She does love to watch me play it though and listen to the guys on vent talk so i really dont mind. First things first if you love them you wont try to force games on them i love her they way she is. I hope people understand that if you have a gamer girl thats great im happy for you but if you dont then dont fret at least you have some one to spend time with when you need it and even when you dont.

Submitted by laterose - January 14, 2007 at 8:09 pm -0500

@hayabusa

She does say that, and then pretty much goes on about every possible gamer stereotype. Really it's pretty offensive to all gamers. It seems kinda hard for me to believe that someone who picked up gaming to please a boyfriend would become so hardcore as to forego personal hygiene. It seemed to me that she was exagerating to make sort of a misguided point about gamers and girls in general.

Submitted by X - January 14, 2007 at 9:13 pm -0500

RANDOM EUTHANIZATION OF POSTERS, ARTICLE WRITERS

Submitted by Brokenscope - January 14, 2007 at 6:55 pm -0500

@Hayabusa

She is talking about the 2nd article which says you don't want your girlfriend to be a gamer. Near the bottom of the news post.

Submitted by Novacat07 - January 14, 2007 at 6:56 pm -0500

I guess I have a bit of a bias here since a few of my guildmates in WoW are married and are very happy (one couple is even expecting a baby in a few months).

Submitted by hayabusa75 - January 14, 2007 at 6:40 pm -0500

@laterose:

Actually, didn't the article say that if you're already a girl gamer, it's all gravy?

Submitted by ephymeris - January 18, 2007 at 1:58 pm -0500

That second article is ridiculous. Is seems to be insinuating that females are more likely to develop addictive, self destructive behavior than males. As if women can't handle the allure of gaming once they are turned on to it.

BAH! I am a female gamer who holds a full time professional job, works out 4-5 times per week, shops, goes out with friends, obsesses over my clothes/make-up/hair, and has a very healthy 12 year relationship with a man I turned into a gamer.

My husband and I have been gaming together since FF7 and we love it. The influx of MMORG's make it even easier to game together. Gaming in a relationship lets you be a part of a team, win, lose, argue, make up, and gives you both a common interest to obsess about. You game with your friends--isn't your significant other supposed to be your best friend?

Submitted by Tracy - January 14, 2007 at 2:45 pm -0500

"Don't let your girlfriend become a gamer because she'll lose sex appeal."

Right.

What happened to everything in moderation, nothing to excess?

Submitted by David Ikari - January 14, 2007 at 2:40 pm -0500

"Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles". This is an excellent little game to bond on.

It has one goal for each player and character unique content, which promotes the sharing of individual resources. And also features a combat system that is enhanced by team work.

A friend and his wife pulled myself and another friend into a regular gaming sessions, where we all would laugh, prattle, and journey through the Miasma in a journey to fill the Crystal Chalice and save the world on the side.

By the end, we were all good, happy, easily excitable friends who developed an uncanny ability to predict the others needs.

Then we started playing "Legend of Zelda: Four Swords", and spent out first half our of gaming throwing each other around the FIRST SCREEN and cutting the heck out of every descructable thing on screen. Never finished it, as we all started yelling and hitting each other too much (IRL).

The moral of the story? Pick your games wisely.

Submitted by laterose - January 14, 2007 at 2:15 pm -0500

As a girl gamer, I find that second article to be highly offensive. While I agree that one shouldn't force their significant other into sharing one's hobbies, there was no reason to portray us girl gamers in such a negative light.

Submitted by thefremen - January 14, 2007 at 1:48 pm -0500

Theory? those are some lovely rose colored glasses you're wearing can I borrow them sometime?

Submitted by MrKenyon - January 14, 2007 at 11:48 am -0500

I second Theory?'s comment.

Anyways, I gotta agree on the whole gaming together thing. Last Thursday, my girlfriend and I handed the controller back and forth while playing Viva Pinata. With her sense of organization, and my C-grade High school knowledge of economics, we've made a fairly kickass garden.

She's also expressed interest in playing Guitar Hero with me as well, I just gotta find a second damn guitar controller to buy. Not a single one in Central Texas, as far as I can tell. *sigh*

Submitted by Theory? - January 14, 2007 at 10:44 am -0500

I can tell the Faith Naked article was intended to be a joke when she said "girls want sex much less than guys." The day that statement becomes true will be the day I cut off my own dick. Girls like to pretend they don't want sex as much as guys, but once they get it they can't get enough, any girl who says otherwise is either broken or lying.

Submitted by hayabusa75 - January 14, 2007 at 10:32 am -0500

I have to disagree with that Faith Naked article. My last girlfriend loved watching me play through the various Final Fantasies. She was always like, "Just call me when you get to the next story part." On a slightly filthier note, letting her kick my ass in Mario Kart always seemed to put her in the mood. =)

Submitted by Vladimir - January 14, 2007 at 10:24 am -0500

After reading the second article, I definitely don't want to turn my girl into a gamer. The last thing I want is for her to gain back all that weight she lost before we met. /blush

Submitted by thefremen - January 14, 2007 at 1:04 pm -0500

In response to the first aticle: true nuff, except for FFXI. That game will cause divorce/breakups.

For those worried by the second article: Once you get married and have a kid you'll never have any sex anyways, so it's better to be able to do something fun with your spouse besides watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Submitted by Urban_Arcana - January 17, 2007 at 11:32 pm -0500

As a gamer and a psychologist, I'd have to side with the former article's conclusion about "growing together." It's not gaming in particular, but instead sharing something with your significant other. Those who enjoy each others hobbies certainly have more avenues to connect.
And for those "girl gamers" out there, I can only apologize for some of the more ridiculous responses to either article (though I do hope the latter was but farce).

Submitted by kurisu7885 - January 14, 2007 at 10:09 am -0500

I've seen evidence of thos. Me and my GF occassionaly play Quake 2 onlien with oen another. It's a way to keep conencted since we live so far apart.

Submitted by Jade Reporting » Blog Archive » January 15 - January 15, 2007 at 11:15 pm -0500

[...] Games Couples Play-It’s a Good Thing, Says Shrink [Killer Betties] Games Couples Play-It’s a Good Thing, Says Shrink [GamePolitics.com] Grab the Joystick toy with your man in the virtual world [...]

Submitted by tyetheczar - January 15, 2007 at 3:54 pm -0500

I can imagine so many fictional couples doing this kind of thing, oy. Such as Homer and Marge and Love Hina's Keitarou and Naru(Could stop her nasty habit of punching him all the time for "perverted" accidents, oy.

Submitted by Meggie - January 15, 2007 at 1:26 pm -0500

Gaming together is a great idea. There are plenty of party games out there that even non-gamers can enjoy. Midnight Club 3 isn't great foreplay though... Avoid DDR for that too, you won't have energy for hanky panky ;)

As for the Faith Naked blog, now I know where that troll from my video game documentary on youtube got his messed up ideas. I figured he was an original idiot, guess not.

Submitted by Yoshiko - January 15, 2007 at 12:58 pm -0500

Edit: Oh, and the second article seems to be writing to the stereotypical male about the stereotypical female. Which means... don't follow it.

"Now remember that clean house you had, well expect it to look pretty nasty after a few weeks of your girl picking up a new game. Yep, she’ll spend hours a day trying to beat that final boss, while your dishes continue to pile high to the sky and laundry starts to cover the floor of your house."

Yeah, FaithNaked. There's a solution for that. It's called "do it yourself".

Submitted by Yoshiko - January 15, 2007 at 12:48 pm -0500

Having a girlfriend as a gamer isn't as bad as what the second article portrayed.

The only thing my boyfriends hates is when I spend an extra hour to finish a part of a game when I should be driving down to his apartment.

If the couple is living together, the only thing I'd suggest is to have your own computers and at least two TVs with consoles.

Other than that... My body hasn't sludged away to nothing, I still wear make-up when I have to, and my hair is never in a pony-tail =P

If your chick is a stereotypical female, don't change her. Besides the fact that she more than likely doesn't -want- or -won't- like games, she'll probably get upset when she can't figure out the controls and that will cause an argument.

Submitted by geekwad - January 15, 2007 at 11:17 am -0500

The GP write-up was interesting. The article was stinkingly horrible.

Submitted by the1jeffy - January 17, 2007 at 7:05 am -0500

@MrKenyon

Second guitars same-day ship from GameStops website. Ask me how I know, and ask me why I'm suddenly sick of "message in a Bottle."

@Fremen/Theory

I agree with Theory's sentiment. Now I realize, Fremen, that once kids are involved, the relationship changes - it's abou them and not the couple.

@Everyone Else

The RedBaboon article is a joke - red a few other of FaithNaked's write-ups. It hit on every kind of stereotype. The real point to it was don't try and force gaming into an otherwise functional, happy relationship.

That being said, GHII is the perfect couples game, although I much prefer World of Warcraft. My fiancee's Feral Druid is perfect compliment to my Resto one. MarioKart is quite fun for couple, too, and I can pretend Iet her win . . .

(The toad team is so cheap, amirite?)

Submitted by Couples and video games « Fuzzy World - August 11, 2007 at 3:33 am -0500

[...] Couples and video games Published January 14th, 2007 Gaming , Quotes , Humor There’s an interesting article at GamePolitics (the closest I get to politics on a daily basis, beside bashing Bush) talks about the positive effects of playing video games as a couple. [...]

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