Some Amusing Letters to Santa

December 23, 2010

A series of letters to Santa from the third grade class at Goessel Elementary School (Marion, Kansas) might just give you the Christmas spirit. The most amusing questions that children asked were why Santa was so fat and why his wife wouldn't help him deliver presents.

Naturally the most asked for items were video games and video game systems. One third-grader even asked for Call of Duty: Black Ops. I hope that Santa does not fulfill that particular request. Below are a few amusing samples:

How is your life with Mrs. Claus? Do you have kids? I am funny and silly and everyone that I know is nice. I want Legos, video games, candy, Call of Duty Black Ops, and a DSi. I will get my cousins an iPhone and my dad a car. We have a white house with blue lights and do not have a chimney. Do the reindeer talk? This year I think I will leave juice for you because I do not want a fat Santa. How did you get fat in the first place? How did you get the job? Thank you for the presents. Your friend,

Luke

Vincent wants a lot. I feel sorry for Santa:

How many hairs would there be if you would shave? I’ve been good but my brothers have not. How about you? Have you been good? I want candy, Bakugan, Legos, DS games, PSP, PS3, Xbox Live, Xbox 360, and a Playstation 3. My friend Cody wants lots of video games. My house is very tall and is white and tan. Go to the garage and my Christmas tree is in our living room. Do you feed your reindeer? I will leave some carrots for you that way you can fit down the chimney. Has your suit ever been a different color than red? Thank you for everything you’ve given me. Your friend,

Vincent

Anton wants video games and asks Santa why he's so fat:

Do you like video games? I live in the country in a house with a brown roof. Santa, how did you get so fat? Get my brother, Jakob, an mp3. I want video games and Legos. I’ve been both naughty and nice this year. Does Rudolph have a bright nose? I will leave you some pop and cookies because you like it. Santa, are you going to ever switch jobs? Does your wife deliver presents with you? Does your sleigh carry magic? Thank you for listening. Your friend,

Anton

You can read the rest of the letters here.

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Andrew Eisen: Okay, fixed. For really reals this time!06/19/2013 - 12:42am
Sleaker: @AE The actual link to the pay what you want is www.indiegamestand.com not desura. You seem to infer where it's at but never posted a link.06/19/2013 - 12:01am
Andrew Eisen: LEGO: The Movie! www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPnY2NjSjrg06/18/2013 - 9:39pm
Zen: http://www.airforcetimes.com/article/20130614/OFFDUTY02/306140030/New-Xbox-sin-against-all-service-members-06/18/2013 - 7:33pm
Zen: Been out for a few days, but has anyone brought up the possible ban on Xbox One on military bases because of security concerns that it could be a listening device by Commanders?06/18/2013 - 7:33pm
Andrew Eisen: Sleaker - Fixed.06/18/2013 - 6:34pm
MechaTama31: CMiner: Another issue is that every camera/webcam combination is going to be pretty different, in terms of the software/hardware exploits available. A homogenous hardware/software combo like a console, in millions of homes, will be a much juicier target.06/18/2013 - 6:31pm
Sleaker: Vox pay what you want link is busted.06/18/2013 - 6:27pm
ZippyDSMlee: Mics have to breath put tape over it.06/18/2013 - 6:25pm
NyuRena: You nailed it James! Yikes..06/18/2013 - 1:56pm
james_fudge: With MS willing to share with the government, an always listening device should give everyone pause.06/18/2013 - 1:37pm
james_fudge: you can't turn off the Microphone on the Kinect and it has to be plugged in. It's not rocket science.06/18/2013 - 1:35pm
E. Zachary Knight: The Humble Bundle Guys just don't like me having money in my pocket do they? https://www.humblebundle.com/06/18/2013 - 1:12pm
E. Zachary Knight: CMiner, I know that my Android camera is off unless I am using an application that turns it on. Same with the microphone.06/18/2013 - 12:38pm
CMiner: Can you turn off the camera on an iPhone? Like, -really- turn it off, not just change a setting that -tells- you the camera is off?06/18/2013 - 12:13pm
james_fudge: when they make it a requirement, yes they are06/18/2013 - 12:10pm
CMiner: I just don't think Microsoft bears any more (or less) responsibility for privacy with its Kinect camera than do the makers of laptops or smartphones with integrated cameras.06/18/2013 - 12:00pm
Imautobot: The ability to operate the console without the camera is key. It's a peripheral, not directly integrated into the console, and yet it behaves as if it is. Thankfully I don't have kids, and won't have an Xbone either.06/18/2013 - 11:49am
CMiner: Oh, I agree that the decision to make the kinect mandatory/always listening is terrible.06/18/2013 - 11:48am
E. Zachary Knight: CMiner, and the easier the provider makes to do such things, the better. The fact that the XBone will not even funtion without it plugged in and turned on in some fashion makes a world of difference from a PC Webcam.06/18/2013 - 11:38am
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