Some Amusing Letters to Santa

December 23, 2010 -

A series of letters to Santa from the third grade class at Goessel Elementary School (Marion, Kansas) might just give you the Christmas spirit. The most amusing questions that children asked were why Santa was so fat and why his wife wouldn't help him deliver presents.

Naturally the most asked for items were video games and video game systems. One third-grader even asked for Call of Duty: Black Ops. I hope that Santa does not fulfill that particular request. Below are a few amusing samples:

How is your life with Mrs. Claus? Do you have kids? I am funny and silly and everyone that I know is nice. I want Legos, video games, candy, Call of Duty Black Ops, and a DSi. I will get my cousins an iPhone and my dad a car. We have a white house with blue lights and do not have a chimney. Do the reindeer talk? This year I think I will leave juice for you because I do not want a fat Santa. How did you get fat in the first place? How did you get the job? Thank you for the presents. Your friend,

Luke

Vincent wants a lot. I feel sorry for Santa:

How many hairs would there be if you would shave? I’ve been good but my brothers have not. How about you? Have you been good? I want candy, Bakugan, Legos, DS games, PSP, PS3, Xbox Live, Xbox 360, and a Playstation 3. My friend Cody wants lots of video games. My house is very tall and is white and tan. Go to the garage and my Christmas tree is in our living room. Do you feed your reindeer? I will leave some carrots for you that way you can fit down the chimney. Has your suit ever been a different color than red? Thank you for everything you’ve given me. Your friend,

Vincent

Anton wants video games and asks Santa why he's so fat:

Do you like video games? I live in the country in a house with a brown roof. Santa, how did you get so fat? Get my brother, Jakob, an mp3. I want video games and Legos. I’ve been both naughty and nice this year. Does Rudolph have a bright nose? I will leave you some pop and cookies because you like it. Santa, are you going to ever switch jobs? Does your wife deliver presents with you? Does your sleigh carry magic? Thank you for listening. Your friend,

Anton

You can read the rest of the letters here.

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IronPatriotOK, so use the third link down, which describes the appeals process and is not on the mobile site"Publishers also have the ability to appeal an ESRB rating assignment to an Appeals Board, which is made up of publishers, retailers and other professionals."05/29/2015 - 2:47am
Andrew EisenRight, which links to the ESRB's mobile site. On the website (again, unless I'm overlooking it) the appeals process is locked behind the publisher login.05/29/2015 - 2:37am
IronPatriotHuh? Google "appeals esrb". It is the first link. Click it. No login requested.05/29/2015 - 2:31am
Andrew EisenInteresting. It's on the mobile site but unless I'm overlooking it, I don't see it under the Ratings Process on the web site. It is under the publishers section but you can't access it without a login.05/29/2015 - 2:13am
IronPatriot"Publishers also have the ability to appeal an ESRB rating assignment to an Appeals Board made up of publishers, retailers and other professionals. " Esrb05/29/2015 - 2:01am
IronPatriotZachary, did you look on the esrb site? The esrb appeals process pops up when you search "esrb appeals" http://m.esrb.org/faq_09.php05/29/2015 - 2:00am
Andrew EisenThe humor reminds me a lot of Axe Cop.05/29/2015 - 1:37am
WymorenceOh sweet god, Kung Fury is freaking awesome...05/28/2015 - 10:03pm
E. Zachary KnightWonder, I know you can revise content and resubmit it, but I can't findany information about a formal appeals process.05/28/2015 - 7:27pm
Wonderkarpever wonder if there's an appeals process for AO?05/28/2015 - 6:55pm
Matthew WilsonDanny and Andy play the first couple of levels of the upcoming Hatred http://www.gamespot.com/videos/hatred-gamespot-plays/2300-6425016/ imho it does not look like it should be AO.05/28/2015 - 5:57pm
Andrew EisenHey, remember Kung Fury? That short film that was funded via Kickstarter a few years ago? You can watch it now. I suggest you do. It's fun! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bS5P_LAqiVg05/28/2015 - 5:14pm
Goth_SkunkOriginally, yes. Some content was cut out in order to reduce its ratign from AO down to M, but PC users could work around that an unlock the full content by means of a patch. Which is what I did. :D05/28/2015 - 3:56pm
Andrew EisenKarp - Yes, for strong sexual content. Although the recent remaster contains all that content and was rated M.05/28/2015 - 3:54pm
Andrew EisenDepends on if you consider Hatred misrated. I haven't played the game or seen the ESRB's rating summary so I'm undecided.05/28/2015 - 3:53pm
WonderkarpDidnt Fahrenheit have an AO?05/28/2015 - 3:52pm
Matthew Wilson@AE that is why I said it seems more moral panic to me.05/28/2015 - 3:51pm
Andrew EisenMatthew - From what I've seen (just the trailers) the game is nowhere near as gory as many, many other games. But again, I'm guessing the AO rating comes from theme and tone rather than outright gore.05/28/2015 - 3:50pm
Andrew EisenKarp - It didn't show penetration or nudity.05/28/2015 - 3:50pm
WonderkarpI'd say Mortal Kombat X has more Gore and Violence than Hatred.05/28/2015 - 3:50pm
 

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